Monday, February 07, 2005
Toughts as at 07/01/05(Mon)...
Tommorrow, i dont have to work...hehe...finally i can set myself sometime with the Lord for a ETWG, it's been quite a overdue thing which i have been wanting to do but bad time time management has always kept me. I'm been planning to set some time in prayer and extra time in the Word, especially after the sharing by R and PDL ......i'm looking forward to tomorrow to have some quiet time with God and some issues to resolve.
it's been a long time since i have set aside to spend time with God for ETWG, in bible reading, prayers and all those stuffs like scripture memorizing, reviewing etc... Hmmm, i realised that i'll had been trying too hard on myself in my spiritual life, it's also prompt me that there's something missing in my relationship with God, the spark that causes the passion to want to know God and know His Word, the passion to witness... Where is my hunger now? I dont know and am lost... it's just simply lostness....
Think i have been trying too hard on myself until i'm burnout esp at work..... meet up to my superiors and seniors's expectations... seems like everyday once i stepped into office, i feel like i'm inside a fierce battle field except instead of rifles hurtful words are being fired out, often my PQS and QS-in-charge got lectured quite badly everyday, and after got scolded or lectured by my associate, they will likely to throw their frustrations on me or show me their blackened face... think i was quite affected by their behaviours though they kept saying that they wont try to show me bad examples but seems they are always contradicting. and the fault wasnt mine, and still i have to bear their frustations, this really pissed me off... my morale at work have been low and it's seems that the work that i produced shows it clearly...just couldnt concentrated on my tasks...
Know that it's quite negative of me to have such thoughts...
but i just wanna let out my frustrations only... Guess it's time for me to go repent of my sins and ask God for forgiveness (1 Jn 1:9).. after a long time of struggles!!!
I wanted to be refreshed, recharged, renewed and re-focused again! :)
it's been a long time since i have set aside to spend time with God for ETWG, in bible reading, prayers and all those stuffs like scripture memorizing, reviewing etc... Hmmm, i realised that i'll had been trying too hard on myself in my spiritual life, it's also prompt me that there's something missing in my relationship with God, the spark that causes the passion to want to know God and know His Word, the passion to witness... Where is my hunger now? I dont know and am lost... it's just simply lostness....
Think i have been trying too hard on myself until i'm burnout esp at work..... meet up to my superiors and seniors's expectations... seems like everyday once i stepped into office, i feel like i'm inside a fierce battle field except instead of rifles hurtful words are being fired out, often my PQS and QS-in-charge got lectured quite badly everyday, and after got scolded or lectured by my associate, they will likely to throw their frustrations on me or show me their blackened face... think i was quite affected by their behaviours though they kept saying that they wont try to show me bad examples but seems they are always contradicting. and the fault wasnt mine, and still i have to bear their frustations, this really pissed me off... my morale at work have been low and it's seems that the work that i produced shows it clearly...just couldnt concentrated on my tasks...
Know that it's quite negative of me to have such thoughts...
but i just wanna let out my frustrations only... Guess it's time for me to go repent of my sins and ask God for forgiveness (1 Jn 1:9).. after a long time of struggles!!!
I wanted to be refreshed, recharged, renewed and re-focused again! :)
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