Sunday, November 27, 2005
Hmmmm......
Felt like changing the color of my blog, think it's getting a bit sianz looking at the same color n font for the past 1 year... so decided to change but oops... i have sort of forgotten how to change and where to look for the relevant sources... so end up up, i decided to give it a miss... anyway, wont bothered me so much that i will die, looking at the same stuffs(colors, fonts etc)...
Church camp is drawing nearer and nearer... hmmm, 3 more days....pretty excited... and unprepared...actually wanted to stuff all my stuffs into my travel bag yesterday after dinner with my parents and sister... by then reach home was quite late and after doing my usual stuffs, it was too late for me to pack as my parents are in bed too. *Yawning* so tired... lazing around at Jache's place....
Feeling a bit better after pouring out my "ventiliations" yesterday... almost teared just now when we were reciting our H's vision/mission statement... D, pls dun be so emotional!!!
Just wanna shared how i feel about moving back to the "mother church" after a week of struggles in coming to term that the majority of the congregation have "voted"... A sense of lostness... y i said that...have been thinking... we have been out for about 4 years and since, i have sort of lost what's happening in the mother church. and going back, which service should i attend? Honestly, i think i wont be attending both the main svc, and there's no more CS, not mention the chinese svc... where should i be heading? Most likely we will be going to different services even when we can say go to 1 particular svc... but as we have choices, most likely that we will go to the svc most convenient to us... =( Personally, thought that i didnt hold of the ownership of the vision until we been told of P's decision, suddenly felt a deep sense of lost... where's our ownership... was quite sad that the majority of us chose to go back... arent we like the Israelites who after coming out of Egypt wanted to return back.... hmmm for us is... after few setbacks, we decided to go back to our "comfort zone"... have we not prayed enough? where's our commitments? Our passion for the lost? i dun know either...
If we are not faithful, then God will just take the fruits of our labours and give it to others...
We are starting to see the fruits of our labours, like bringing new visitors to our svc thru our ministries, (dun wanna mentioned now or it wont be over-exposed)... esp, for me after svc, one of our outreach, we starts to see visible signs that God's moving us forward and open the eyes of the residents to be more aware of our presence and seeing more regular players not from H... a.p, s.s... believe God's also working... lots of times when God work behind the scene, we cannot see so thus it very easy for us to say that we tired from our labour, but have we surrendered to God and allow God to work in n thru us...instead of complaining and grumbling.... it's been 4 years since we out to our mission land, it's quite a sad to see that it's so easy to lose a vision but once we lost it, it will be hard to get back... Had God really wanted us leave? Did we perseverved on or do we just let go when obstacles comes along our way?
On personal note, was quite disappointed with how pp reacted to their differences? Is is so hard to let go of the grieves (since the other is leaving), i dun know... Perhap i have not reach to that level of differences with pp... sometimes i'm felt a sense of injustice for p, even when he's leaving, pp can still feel indifference... Come on, do u want to bring all yr grieves/injustices to heaven and bring all those issues before God?
Our time on earth is too short for keeping all these grudges... dun regret when u about to go home? by then it will be too late!!! Loving a unlovable pp is not easy, but reflecting on ourselves, seeing how patient God is towards us, then after all, we ourselves are no saints... =P think will be much easier... i mean is it so hard to let go of the past? for me, i think i'm still learning how to, though not very easy... am too guilty of such behaviours as well... Hmmm...
Think 1 lesson that i have learnt from this espisode is..... have to learn to seive thru all the stuffs that went into my ears.... if not history will repeats itself...
Shall stop here for now...
Church camp is drawing nearer and nearer... hmmm, 3 more days....pretty excited... and unprepared...actually wanted to stuff all my stuffs into my travel bag yesterday after dinner with my parents and sister... by then reach home was quite late and after doing my usual stuffs, it was too late for me to pack as my parents are in bed too. *Yawning* so tired... lazing around at Jache's place....
Feeling a bit better after pouring out my "ventiliations" yesterday... almost teared just now when we were reciting our H's vision/mission statement... D, pls dun be so emotional!!!
Just wanna shared how i feel about moving back to the "mother church" after a week of struggles in coming to term that the majority of the congregation have "voted"... A sense of lostness... y i said that...have been thinking... we have been out for about 4 years and since, i have sort of lost what's happening in the mother church. and going back, which service should i attend? Honestly, i think i wont be attending both the main svc, and there's no more CS, not mention the chinese svc... where should i be heading? Most likely we will be going to different services even when we can say go to 1 particular svc... but as we have choices, most likely that we will go to the svc most convenient to us... =( Personally, thought that i didnt hold of the ownership of the vision until we been told of P's decision, suddenly felt a deep sense of lost... where's our ownership... was quite sad that the majority of us chose to go back... arent we like the Israelites who after coming out of Egypt wanted to return back.... hmmm for us is... after few setbacks, we decided to go back to our "comfort zone"... have we not prayed enough? where's our commitments? Our passion for the lost? i dun know either...
If we are not faithful, then God will just take the fruits of our labours and give it to others...
We are starting to see the fruits of our labours, like bringing new visitors to our svc thru our ministries, (dun wanna mentioned now or it wont be over-exposed)... esp, for me after svc, one of our outreach, we starts to see visible signs that God's moving us forward and open the eyes of the residents to be more aware of our presence and seeing more regular players not from H... a.p, s.s... believe God's also working... lots of times when God work behind the scene, we cannot see so thus it very easy for us to say that we tired from our labour, but have we surrendered to God and allow God to work in n thru us...instead of complaining and grumbling.... it's been 4 years since we out to our mission land, it's quite a sad to see that it's so easy to lose a vision but once we lost it, it will be hard to get back... Had God really wanted us leave? Did we perseverved on or do we just let go when obstacles comes along our way?
On personal note, was quite disappointed with how pp reacted to their differences? Is is so hard to let go of the grieves (since the other is leaving), i dun know... Perhap i have not reach to that level of differences with pp... sometimes i'm felt a sense of injustice for p, even when he's leaving, pp can still feel indifference... Come on, do u want to bring all yr grieves/injustices to heaven and bring all those issues before God?
Our time on earth is too short for keeping all these grudges... dun regret when u about to go home? by then it will be too late!!! Loving a unlovable pp is not easy, but reflecting on ourselves, seeing how patient God is towards us, then after all, we ourselves are no saints... =P think will be much easier... i mean is it so hard to let go of the past? for me, i think i'm still learning how to, though not very easy... am too guilty of such behaviours as well... Hmmm...
Think 1 lesson that i have learnt from this espisode is..... have to learn to seive thru all the stuffs that went into my ears.... if not history will repeats itself...
Shall stop here for now...
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