Friday, February 17, 2006
Update of myself!!!
Yeah, seems quite sum time since i blog the last time, frequency has sort of drop a bit. ya, was quite got up with my work recently... Got stressed up, frustrated with myself not unproductive, relationships with pp not at a healthy level... hmmm, pented-up frustrations has really got into me, think since 2 weeks ago... confidence level too dropped, wondering whether should i buried myself instead of giving "trouble" to pp??? thus sometimes really dun feel like talking to anyone even to my close friends n ch mates...
just few days ago, had a male colek whom i feel to him is translated into mandarin "fan gan" backstabbed me again ... Oh goodnes... ya. he would always "surgeon me" when he's stressed up with work/after scolded by our assoc... this time round, history repeats itself... as usual after his displeasure with me, he will go and complain to our assoc... which i will be called in his room, to have a lengthy talk... anyway, this's not the first time i genna "arrowed" by him. Just that, my time is wasted!!! my assoc always listen to one-sided story and defend my that male colek. Used to reasoned with him nicely (few times, i think), but since he dun even listen to my side of story, now i just agree to whatever my assoc said. at least, i have few more years to live by agreeing (though very reluctant).
Ya, finally, got the opportunity to meet up with my "mentor" JL whom i am always encouraged by her sharings, though this time round, shared with her some of my struggles n issues that have been bugging me for the past week. Heard from a wise sister (spiritual mum), at least i have a clearer pic, and the advices that helped a lot to clear my doubts. I'm thankful that God has brought this sis to encourage beside 2 who too has blessed me by their encouragements and helps... though this issue of mine still bothers me sometimes, i have only 1 option, that's to commit to God, coz i know myself best that i'm also helpless too. yeah, also thankful to have pp praying for me... accountable for.... beside cell-mates... Ya, just now, was once reminded during cell that i have not been a faithful "cell buddy". What have i done to encourage my buddy in anyway?
hehe... anyway, just to "diao" my cg pp's appetite... hmmm, yeah, wanna blog about it but dun think it's the right time loh... though very tempted to tell the whole world about it... but better zip up my mouth. hehe... shall remain a secret until then.
just few days ago, had a male colek whom i feel to him is translated into mandarin "fan gan" backstabbed me again ... Oh goodnes... ya. he would always "surgeon me" when he's stressed up with work/after scolded by our assoc... this time round, history repeats itself... as usual after his displeasure with me, he will go and complain to our assoc... which i will be called in his room, to have a lengthy talk... anyway, this's not the first time i genna "arrowed" by him. Just that, my time is wasted!!! my assoc always listen to one-sided story and defend my that male colek. Used to reasoned with him nicely (few times, i think), but since he dun even listen to my side of story, now i just agree to whatever my assoc said. at least, i have few more years to live by agreeing (though very reluctant).
Ya, finally, got the opportunity to meet up with my "mentor" JL whom i am always encouraged by her sharings, though this time round, shared with her some of my struggles n issues that have been bugging me for the past week. Heard from a wise sister (spiritual mum), at least i have a clearer pic, and the advices that helped a lot to clear my doubts. I'm thankful that God has brought this sis to encourage beside 2 who too has blessed me by their encouragements and helps... though this issue of mine still bothers me sometimes, i have only 1 option, that's to commit to God, coz i know myself best that i'm also helpless too. yeah, also thankful to have pp praying for me... accountable for.... beside cell-mates... Ya, just now, was once reminded during cell that i have not been a faithful "cell buddy". What have i done to encourage my buddy in anyway?
hehe... anyway, just to "diao" my cg pp's appetite... hmmm, yeah, wanna blog about it but dun think it's the right time loh... though very tempted to tell the whole world about it... but better zip up my mouth. hehe... shall remain a secret until then.
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