A Time to Reflect with Thanksgiving.

Today simply cant get my bum get stucked to my office's seat... haha....fortunately still managed to get almost all my work done b4 leaving office at 6pm...

aiyah, think as usual, as what sm have experienced, today i also faced the face situation... hmmm, requests to get this and get that stuffs... got 1 unusual request from my pqs, she wanna get a thumbdrive 2G... today, 1 of my colek go and tell that colek whom i cannot get along in office abt my trip to HK, oh, goodness... can she be more sensitive to others pp's feeling... not that i wanna say abt her...Only yesterday, she got a call from her fren from e other team asking her whether she n 1 of my team mate, C need tabao dinner, then she say loudy in the phone that C will call CL (her bf), so end up my C got quite embarrassed. (coz she wants to keep her relationship a secret, i think lah)...

Back to the incident just now, those in my team who knew that i will be away for holiday dont even want to inform her....hmmm.... i think those has eyes will see that we are not in talking terms (professionally, i think i treat her quite nice, have given her a lot of face liao as compared to last time)...she thinks can start stepping over the borders again..... now she knew that i'll be away for sum time (not a good thing)... today this morning, nearly had a quarrel with her( y she always think that her tasks are the most impt, insisting that i must clear her tasks b4 e most urgent 1)... Was helping my pqs to rush out e p.p. by today (contractually stated), so i didnt have much time to clear her stuffs, n she made a hoohuh like that... somemore, dare to tell tales in front of me to that colek which i have mentioned early....Hmmmm, if one day, my limit hits the sky AGAIN, i will completely screwed her up.... dun make that day come lor...my patience is running LOW.

Meanwhile, i'm going to njoy my holiday... hehe... It's raining heavily, good weather to sleep.
Will be back after 02Nov to blog again. (Work left behind in Spore) yeah!!!

hmmm, today as usual i will lunch in and do work at the same time... Actually my coleks ask me to join them after i have taken my lunch... usually i will make a point to join them as they usually ate very near to office......but today too dilly dally and distracting myself by looking into other's pp blogs, i'm now too lazy to join them liao...=P haha.. Oops...

Doing on the book of Phillpians for my BSF and it's quite a nice book esp on chp 2 where Paul ask the philppi's christians how they should imitate Christ's humility. Had memorized this verse from TMS pack as a poly student.. that verse is from Chp2 verse 3 to 4... =) verse 5-9 was the one that touches my heart... Read the whole book yourself...and have a better understanding of Paul's writing... Our class teacher said that in order to have a deeper insight, and experiencing His work then we will be able to have the perspective of God. (Para-Copied).hehe.. Have started doing the lessons and 1 of them ask which part of our lives regarding to humilty do we think we need God's help? Hmmm....

Had BSF fellowship 2 days ago after our lecture, and the group was pretty small, so we got more time to have a deeper sharing... think for the first time, i shared this struggle with my BSF mates for the 1st time and was quite comforted in knowing that i'm not the only one struugling with this issue....=) ok, at least got companions...hehehe....Oh, it's also my 1st time putting this prayer request as a ASK to my BSF group...

Time to LOG OFF and back to WORK AgaiN...

Just came back from C.G today... was pretty tired before even heading for CG, tired from work, expectations from my boss, expectations from myself, struggles that i have been always struggling etc... But God is always so good, because got reminded and refresh of my perspective of God, times when i'm struggling will tends to forgets God. Hmmmm, but God always work in our lives even when we are conscious or not!!! Ya, i'm doing the facilitating today, as usual i'm quite nervous and quite consciously of what i say...even though this's my second time... really thankful when no words come out from my mouth, ppl like hz, JH, & e rest, willl help say something. If not will be quite awkward situation...

Was been reminded of an incident while preparing the lessons, it happened 3 years ago, when i'm still a student with SP, went on a overseas community service with BCSS to G.Y. Had a misunderstanding with my room-mate whom we share our room for 9 nights, and quite a explosion happened late at night when we return back to our room after planning for the next day lesson. When we were at the doorsteps of our room, i began to searched for the keys (which i held the key only that day), but no matter how i searched my bags, just couldn't find the keys, think she thought that i might misplaced somewhere in the room and so we headed to find the housekeeper and got the keys. Hmmm, guess what!!! The moment we stepped into the room, i saw my keys in my bag... Think i'm the one who blowed up first and she also blow up too... It's was my fault n i still dare to blow at people...... It was she who apologized first the next day morning, and my pride prevents me from saying " sorry" to her...

But the worse part was she was down with diarrhoea and i....arugghhh
Til now, i could still remembered clearly and it's still in my heart what had happened... =( If i could ever see her again, i will definitely say "Susan,I'm sorry that i have hurt u". Hopefully i won't have to say that in heaven...

On the happier note, me, SM and nana had our first attempt at making "no-bake cheesecake" last sunday... supposed to have frisbee that day, but unfortunately it rained quite heavily that afternoon... witnessed a nav bro's baptism and it's at Jelapang Rd.. so took cab both to C.E.F.C and back to punggol... spent a lot of S11 on cab fare that day... Oh, back to the cheesecake, i was supposed to join them after the game, but since it rained, i decided to make my way to S.M's place. actually most of the work is done by S.M,understand that nana have been sleeping most of the time... haha... when i reached S.M's hse, she has already prepared all the ingredients and half-way finished. all i needed was to wash the utensils...hehe... comes out to be quite okay, though from S.M's coleks, needs improvement.. hmmm, gave to my coleks and BSF's mate, most reject me gently but my bsf's mate dare to try... think presentation can be improved.. =) she didnt gave any negative comments, but i think she's been encouraging...

Will try it on my own the next time round, and hopefully the next guinea pigs will be my cell mates liao... haha.. That's all for the week. Have a nice weekend.

Think recently ha got caught by this bug of pre-holiday symptom..
Had started counting down the days to holiday and as well counting down of my S11...haha... like what S.M mentioned...hehehe..
it's been a long time since i went for a vacation other than church camp and my recent co retreat. The last one was to Korea which the year they host the World Cup. Hmmmm, seems a long time ago, ya, it was 3 years ago. =( Yeah, 8 more days to 28Oct.

anyway, haven even start packing... Oops, so nuah of me...wow liao, work on my desk is sufficient to keep my mind of going to pack my stuff... like what my colek quoted, "feel like burning up with a fire" - Oh, btw, that's directly translated from Mandarin. "yong yi ba huo ba ta shao diao" Booobooo... feel like doing the same to my work...

with the upcoming intranet(can access work from home thru the internet), there will be no excuse not to work from home during weekends liao)!!! aiyah, why must they allow that to happen? Oh gosh, then my boss can call me up any day of the week for work purpose..even when i'm holidaying (as long as there's internet access)... Oh goodness, terrible, horrible... In the past, can give excuse that i'm not in office, can "taiji" away, now how?
Hmmmm, must also look at things postively, as what my assoc alway said to us, esp to the "C.At2" team. so either you embraced it or be embraced by it... my life in office have been rather "feng ping lang jing" so have nothin to put in, unlike... Oops... better not envy...wait it bounced back to me... =P Office have been very quiet for the last few days, perhap my coleks were very bz with their tenders evaluations... assoc out most of the time...have to learn to be more focused during working hours, doesnt helped much that i have a short concentration lifespan... haha, and a colek behind me that i can talk to when i'm bored...

have been trying not to work late, so for the past few days...Monday got BSF, so leave by 5.45pm, Tuesday also leave by 6pm, today, by 630pm.. tmr? Friday?

Just finished doing the lessons for today... quite chim... =(
As what i say to myself , i will strive to be discipline in doing my BSF lessons. =)require a lot of prayer... ASK (Matt 7:7)... =)

Was reading some1's blog just now, was pretty amused by what she described abt her coleks... had wanted to leav down my comments, but too bad lah, dun noe how to even though i also had a friendster a/c... or simply too lazy to find out how??? =P

Hey, her 'complains' really entertained me a lot.... oops!!! think in most of the co in her industry is quite similar lah....have ever worked in C.B before...wow lao, cannot tahan... i left the company after only 2 weeks... it's really mentally draining....man, she must be a real tough lady man... i'm too weak to tahan all these "spear throwing around"... thank goodness i dun have to face this every min every sec in my current workplace... esp the drop dead desperate... haha... i nearly drop dead on the floor...but mind my language....how can i laugh at pp? pp quite bad state, but just got amused by the "extent writing" of the author... e another is the west dowager... hmmm, how she managed to get herself such a nick??? oh no, all her coleks have turned into dogs??? know what u mean lah.. =) a boring day got brighten by the humorious writting....maybe can give a suggestion to the author, maybe u can think of becoming a comedian? a journalist for humors.... hahahahahaaa..... Thanks for brighten up my day...

huh.... guess only the author knows coz it's from her blog.... =P

hmmmm, a week has passed just a blink of an eye... Was emailing-chatting with a sis, that this week has not been a good week, for me lah... from arguing with my direct boss, to disagreements with my QS, superior (H), to swallowed the whole prawn with its shell into my throat... drop the metal thermal flask on my right toe, unproductive work... arruggghhh... Wondered what happened? Sometimes, i just couldnt understand... but never mind, things will get better =) Think that i'm over-stressed at work until every thing just fall apart... Tired! my boss expects me to accomplished what he wants within his time frame, is like a Tall Order to me lor... how to explain to him?

From what i observed and my conversation, every1 in the team seems to be quite fearful of him, even got 2 of them comment, even strike lottery is not as lucky as getting into this team.. another AQS also quite scared to go into his room. e other thinking of getting a transfer to another team, 1 always got paranoid, even to the extent of getting super stressed up when she stepped into his room...hmmmm, except 1 or 2 quite okay with him... Dun think it's enjoyable if he not satisfied with the work produced, then end up in his room listening to his "ren shen dao li" for some times up to few hrs... D (1 of the team members) ever sat in his room for 5 hours when she "mess up" her t. cost est... hmmm, me also have the experience, tell u, it's not as nice as you can imagine (though it's only 2 hrs plus plus)

Think something for me to look forward everyday is the counting down of days to 28 Oct 2005. =) but then i also have to get my stuffs done b4... Thank goodness, my leave was approved... even though the last time i submit my leave , my assoc to ask me to submit the leave 1 week prior my departure... Wonder my travelling companions are eagering looking forward to this day? Bet they also have started their countdown. =P (14 days to be exact)

Planned to go to my usual place to take time off work, off my stress, my burdens, my worries, etc... dun know if can be work out as i have to go many places tmr.... but try lor...
Am downloading my foto which i have taken since i bought my digital cam, and the card reader cant be used in my pc, so have to plug my cam each time i have to transfer the pic to my pc. Sorry S.M n nana, my pc super slow in sending the pic to the email... sorry guys have to wait for another day, hmmm, as i always say..good things worth the waiting mah...Aiyah, so suai... have been trying to post my blog since last night, the pc keeps hanging...last night use my sis's pc... aiyah

hmmmmm, every1 in my team thought that i'm away in HK enjoying myself, well, the big mouth me have spread to everyone long time ago that i will be away in HK for a vacation this mth... anyway, i will be really going end of this month...started counting now... =) well, i was actually on 3 days m.leave... and e only person in my team knows abt it is my assoc and he didnt "broadcast" it to everyone, thus creating an impression that i'm on holiday. =(

This weekend will be quite fun and exciting for me, i think...going to sentosa on sat for the "luge" and club.m ... =P
okay, body still weak, but hopefully still can take it...

Oops... almost 4got that i haven't start doing today's BSF lessons n prepare for the cell tmr...

Reminds me of a p from NCC, about entering His Rest... can relates to one of the verses in Matt 11:28-29 and Ps91:1-2..hmmm, what happen to my scripture memory? =P

Prayer for myself that i will continue to find rest in God, rather than seeking other types of rest...the last 3 days, have been good opporunity for me to rest...from my work...Find myself weary from work... but who cares that u are weary, they only care that Can u produce? hmmm, guess i'm also been drawn to meet other's expectations and forgot to focus at the right thing...
Rom 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is ,his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Was reading the book of PDL a verse from my quiet time & BSF which have speak to me from Col 3:23-24"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the LORD, not for men. v24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

Guess that i too have to confess that at times, my attitude at work... etc is till lacking of been Christ-likeness... (philippians 2:3-8)v3"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. v4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others" v5 "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus....." a good example for me to follow...

Ruth sets a good example.... her diligence at work(from gleaning the fields)...providing for Naomi, her humility(eg: chp 2:10), her trust in God, looking not at her own interests but Naomi's, her loyality and obedience to Naomi n her husband... even when her's instructions seems strange for a logically sound person to follow... to marry a man that's much older than her so that the line of her ex-husband... think she never even complain when she's gleaning at Boaz's field from morning all the way when they finished work...Have to remind myself not to complain...to have a attitude of Ruth.

Was thinking of a email-conversation with someone just now, the best person to follow will be our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. (if we(I) would humble ourselves, and open up our "locked door")- from a mini book which i have read years ago.

Last 2nd lessons with A, and unlike that i will continue with the package... if i continue with the package, then i will have no S11 to go HK... =( Just remind me of a phase that Naomi said when they return back to Judah...something like that"I went out full, but return back empty" I will returned back spore with my pockets emptied.

Today went to the Douby Ghaut for pilate class... a lot of muscle toning execises, but unlike cardio, didnt have a good sweat-out session, basically, a lot of lying down and do lotsa stretches, strengthening esp on the abs, inner thighs, battocks (emphasis more on e lower body). Thank goodness not like Yoga, where u stretch all parts of yr body. Think i go in walk, come out of the class "crawling". haha...

Went to the frisbee game later, i was still able to run, despite the last 2 days of KB, enough to KO me... abs still aching esp the B guy makes us work hard on our abs. For me good lah, it's time for me to get serious on doing some trimming. I think the exposure at the SUO helps a lot in reading the game (why? i learn the fastest with my eyes, i think watching the professionals how they play their games and personally been involved in the competitions helped me to gain confidence on myself, plus training on my stamina). Don't know whether played in the SUO helped to built up my stamina...Chasing gals younger than me, requires me to put 100% esp defending. Hmmmm, guess have to work on my forehand.(Used too much of forehands today), i still give away my forehand throws as they are quite weak (Defender can easily comes and snatched away. =)

Time to rest my over-worked body. =P So excited to look forward to this coming weekend.

Exhausted from the whole week of "messy life" at work, things just couldnt get right, end up frustrated at myself for messing up my work.... mentally too tired to even face my work now... emotionally, i'm not at my best, got screwed up by my superior for the type of work that i have "done" .... shit, how can i allow myself to enter into this "pitless hole"? Just wanna find sum1 to talk, but who else can i talk to? Just had a chat with my D.L, got sum kind advice on how to handle my stuffs at work...but... arrruuugghh!!!

Okay, finally can set a date yesterday evening for KB, though S.M cant go, but met Inky... Had a good time of workout, after which we went to meet my long-time "lost contact" nav pp at P.S... At first thought it was a prayer meet for today Nav's event, turns out to be a board game("bored" game) haha..., had a healthy dinner with Inky (since every1 left for home after the board game)...We had salad at B.K., had a good time fellowshipping, and opportunity to hear from her the happenings at Nav... Things had changed a lot since i graduated, Had a lengthly sharings, and we b4 went home.. we prayed lor(think both of us felt burdened to pray)...
what's happenings?
Today 2nd round of KB, think my body cannot make it liao... every parts aches a lot, esp my abs... :( but sum1 i think will be even worse state than me, since she she will attend 2 more classes tmr... hope she can make it to work on Monday...haha...
tmr will be going for pilate class....1st time attending "specialty class" (only p.package is allow to join the class).... since i left with 2 classes b4 my package expires... Went to a Arts Exhibition with S.M & Nana.. (but last min, nana couldnt make it... =( (tkts kindly and given by s.m's co) =)Had a filling dinner at C.C. thought the salad wont be that full, but end up i eat up to my capacity... (could still feel the food moving around in my stomach)....

Finally, close my blog today with a thought from the book of Ruth, even times when we(I) feel so far from God, and thinking God had desserted us(me), He still at work in our(my) life...just need to trust God for His plan... Things will always work out right if we(I) surrender to God and see the beautiful ending. But at this point, even when i cant see what God see. Should i complain less and pray more? Ruth didnt complain, but trust God will work out the best in her life and ending i believe every1 knows. Hmmmmm.....